Daddy’s Gone

This is a sad, but relatable sense poem I wrote in English Composition II last semester. This always stood out to me, so I am finally uploading it. Enjoy.

Daddy’s Gone- By Jessa Raven

Momma was a hard worker, keeping herself together,

Her cries soft, but agonizing, always under the weather.

The scent of coffee, strong and bold,

The meals she makes every night, cherished like gold.

Holding her during times of hardship, he was not a man,

What she goes through day-to-day, keeping the home spick-and-span.

As a little girl, Daddy was never there,

This led Momma and me into thoughts of despair.

©8/4/2020 Jessa Raven Atkins

Behind Those Walls: A Poem By Jessa Raven

Hello, all. This is a poem I created tonight for people struggling with issues regarding mental health, or constantly feeling like you have to hide. This one’s for you.

Behind Those Walls:

Infinite pain hiding one’s self,
The outer shell as bright and lovely as a summer dandelion,
The inside, so shattered and tattered.
The sad thing is:
No one knows,
How it feels,
Day to day;
Holding on so tight,
To fight for one’s sanity.
Sometimes all we need is a friend;
A simple ear to listen.
We see somebody across the room,
Happy and vibrant as the sun;
Yet dreary and dark as the moon in the cloudy night sky.
Sometimes, all it takes is a small “hello”,
To prevent the disappearance of one’s identity and soul.
We need to be here for each other,
For others;
There is nothing more mesmerizing than a kind, caring heart,
Helping our brothers and sisters is the next step to a new start.

©8/4/2020 Jessa Raven Atkins

Static: By Jessa Raven

Was feeling in a poetic mood this evening. Here is a poem I just came up with about the one I love so dearly.

Static:

Love at first sight,

Not only did you catch my eye, you made life alright again;

To be with you is captivating.

I feel magic and odd feelings that are like this strong energy I have never felt before,

When I touch you, I melt into liquid.

Our relationship is like a rose with perpetual life:

Never turning dark,

Always luscious red.

A caress to the cheek makes me starry-eyed for you,

Truly taking my breath away.

I cannot even fathom how I got so lucky to have a soul as beautiful as yours around.

Your charm, wits, and static energy amaze me.

When we are together, it is as if we are in another world of our own.

A world of fantasy and everlasting love, no harm to come to us.

I am in love with you;

My heart is yours, and yours mine.

I will always love you, until the day I stop breathing.

Fiery and hot, our static electricity.

 

Written by: Jessa Raven

©1/21/2020 Jessa Raven Atkins

The Feeling of Feeling

Hey guys! I’ve been offline for quite a period of time. School has taken up a huge slice of my free time, plus, I’ve been having a serious case of writer’s block. Anyway, a poem finally came to my mind. Enjoy!

The Feeling of Feeling: By-Jessa Raven

The future is a terrifying essence.

It petrifies me how much I care.

It mortifies me how much I’m in love.

What will happen next?

Fear of the unknown;

How can one deal with such burning desire, yet pain that burns holes within you?

A never-ending emptiness,

Filling a vacant space with pure innocence and love,

That is what he does.

I can’t help but have my worries.

Things can change;

The world could all collapse at my feet,

Everything could vanish into thin air,

Like sand slipping away through your fingers.

What can I do to counteract these demons?

They say all is impossible:

The possibility of normality,

The possibility of a slight piece of hope,

All is undone.

Do I deserve him, or this?

Perhaps, yet others may object.

I just want to hold on for the ride.

I want this, I want his love, I want him.

With proper guidance and help,

Anything can be accomplished.

It’s time to stop listening to the evil and to make up my mind;

Do I want my demise, or do I want my breakthrough?

Do I want to be a slave, or do I want freedom?

I choose success.

I choose freedom.

I choose true love.

©10/22/19 Jessa Raven Atkins

Forever With You

Forever With You:

How did I become so lucky to have someone like you?

Arrogant, you are not. You are humble and true.

You mean the universe to me; I could never have another.

Daring, adventurous, and full of life,

Everything about you makes you a good lover.

Never could I imagine a life without you in it

Equal, is how you see you and I,

Right now, missing you makes me cry.

I love you to the sun and the stars,

Caring so much for me, you see past my scars.

Candles, roses, and soft music,

All of this I look forward to, seeing you melts my heart.

Rivers as green as emerald, I see when I look in your eyes

Leaving you each time I despise.

Soon, we will reunite in each other’s arms.

Once in a lifetime is this love,

Never will we drift apart.

©5/5/19 Jessa Raven Atkins

(For my love, H.E.C.)

Article: The Life of Being Bipolar -By Jessa Raven

The Life of Being Bipolar

Introduction: My Life and How I Deal With Itsadness bipolar pic

I’ve always wondered, what is it like to be normal? To be like everyone else? To have no abnormalities. One abnormality I have is the condition known as bipolar disorder. Whenever I let the cat out of the bag and tell someone this news, the world is ending. A large percentage of people do not understand or even want to comprehend what bipolar is; they just assume you’re an automatic psycho.
Being a bipolar individual is a difficult life to live. Here’s what it’s like in my eyes: Getting a job is not the easiest thing to do. Most employers will deem you not worthy of being hired if they know you have this or any other mental illness. It’s constant lying about yourself. That’s not the most vexing part about it, however. As a bipolar, it is required that medications be taken, otherwise, you’re an untreated bipolar. According to: shorturl.at/jsDQZ an estimated 51% of people with bipolar disorder are untreated each year. I was an untreated bipolar up until age eleven. Numerous hospitalizations throughout my lifetime; trying to find the perfect combination of medications. To this day, it is still a struggle. How do I deal with these issues, you may ask? As a bipolar, a set routine/schedule is a necessity to be healthy and have a sound mind. Also, taking meds at the proper time every day. Skipping a dose can lead to mania.

What Is Mania?

mania

“Mania” is what bipolar is known for, especially those with Bipolar I (see next paragraph, Bipolar I v. Bipolar II- The Difference Between the Two). A synonym for mania is essentially hyperactivity. What is it like to go through a manic episode? It’s like the whole world is shaking. You can either be so happy, you’re bouncing and jumping around erratically, or you’re so irritable and angry, everything in the house is thrown around like a tornado. Being manic tends to scare or throw others off. Mania can be so severe, that it can require hospitalization. Manic episodes consist of feeling like you’re on top of the world or that you’re invincible, having hyperactivity; being full of energy and can’t sit still, dangerous/risky behavior; foolish or risky actions, such as spending huge amounts of money, impulsive sexual behavior, or reckless driving. Feeling the need to not rest. Racing thoughts and rapid speech. Lastly, irritability or rage; feeling like you’re mad at the world and everyone else, according to shorturl.at/gjnx2 .

Bipolar I v. Bipolar II- The Difference Between the Two

bipolar pic

Bipolar I is what my psychiatrist diagnosed me with many years ago. This is the type of disorder that has severe mania, but less depression; yet there’s still a combination of both. Bipolar II consists of hypomanic episodes, which  is not as severe as a full manic episode that Bipolar I experiences. Bipolar II has major depression outbreaks the site shorturl.at/rxNTZ states. Bipolar I deals with severe cases of mania & Bipolar II deals with a severe case of depression, but both still share common characteristics.

Is There a Cure?

As much as me and billions of others wish there was, unfortunately, there is no cure for bipolar disorder; it can only be treated. Medications and psychotherapy are the best options, along with support from family and good friends who care. Nobody knows what the true cause of bipolar is, but it is hereditary according to, shorturl.at/knxIR .

It’s Okay to Be “Different”

To all my bipolar people out there, you may feel like a freak, or even ashamed of your disorder; don’t be. It’s actually something to embrace. It’s beautiful to be different. In the past, I got too embarrassed and wanted to hide who I was. Now, I am proud to have bipolar disorder, and hope to help others with a mental illness because I know what it’s like to feel like a “freak.” There are actually many well-known people with bipolar in the industry, such as: Demi Lovato (pop-artist), Mariah Carey (music artist), Maurice Benard (soap-opera actor), in fact, this actor owned who he was and the bipolar disorder, to the point where it was scripted in the show he was acting in, “General Hospital”, Vincent Van Gogh (who was rumored to also have borderline personality disorder), Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia from Star Wars), Ernest Hemingway, and many more in this world.

Why Did I Write This Article?

The sole purpose of this article was to express to the world that I’m not ashamed of who I am anymore. Yes, I’m bipolar. No, I’m not going to murder you in your sleep just because there’s stereotypes about my disorder. People with bipolar are human beings just like anyone else. I hope my beloved readers can relate or at least now understand that a bipolar person isn’t as crazy or terrifying as you may think. This was my first non-fiction article, so I  hope y’all enjoy my read. I also have so much more to learn regarding my disorder, but that’s what life’s about, right? Learning something new everyday is invigorating. Hope you all have a blessed day!

©All rights reserved Jessa Raven Atkins 4/4/2019

On the Horizon

On the Horizon:

The sun sets at the horizon.
Fright in my eyes, fear in my soul;
That tomorrow, this may all be gone.
Will the morning come?
It’s the last night..,
Of our humanity, sanity, purity.
Tomorrow, the air will not be breathable.
All I can think about is how beautiful this sunset is.
I want you by my side;
Close to my heart.
Never to forget,
Our good times.
Oh, the memories.., so bittersweet.
As I look at this sunset one last time,
I accept the fate.
I lie down and close my eyes;
It’s over.
Everything’s gone.

© 2/20/2019 Jessa Raven Atkins

Nights of Thought

Nights of Thought:
Lying awake, night after night.
Endless pain;
It could make you go insane.
Some more tossing and turning;
Another nightmare that’s quite a scare.
Is this fact or fiction?
Does he favor love.., or lust?
She continues to cry out.
No one listens.
It’s like spinning in circles;
You get dizzy and figure out nothing.
The rain patters on the roof.
No longer an urge to get out of bed;
Depression eating away her soul,
Bits and pieces at a time.
If there could only be someone to save her.
They all say she is her only savior.
How can she save herself when she doesn’t feel loved?
Inner betrayal is felt.
Her trust is no more.
It’s her nature to madly dance in the rain with such passion,
She can’t do even that anymore.
The world is destroying her beauty; her innocence, slowly but surely.
The Lord is her only friend now;
He is all she has.
The only one she can trust.
May he mend her broken wings.

©12/28/2018 Jessa Raven Atkins

Dark Moon

Here’s a poem I wrote for the one I love: H. E. C.

Dark Moon

Hold me in your arms and never let go.
Your touch, your energy, makes me feel whole.
Dancing like fiends underneath the moonlight;
We glisten under the soft, white rays.
You’re everything to me.
Can’t you see?
You’re the only one I need.
Miles and miles apart,
My heart is throbbing from missing you.
When we touch, it’s like static electricity.
Passionate, hot, beautiful.
You accept my crazy;
I can’t fathom how.
Butterflies roam rampant in my stomach.
Our connection goes beyond the skin,
I feel so devoted to you, it should be a sin.
Because of you, I feel like a better person.
You’ve changed my life drastically.
Missing you hurts so bad, but I know we will meet again.

©11/6/2018 Jessa Raven Atkins

Imperishable Love

Hey guys! This is another poem a wrote a little while ago that I thought should be shared with you. Enjoy! 🙂

Imperishable Love:

Tell me, do you really love me?
What about when I’m in my depths of despair?
Going absolutely crazy;
So crazy, that it’s horrifying.
What if I lost my beauty?
Got burned, a car accident, a gunshot to the head?
Would you still stand by my side?
I try so hard to satisfy you,
But what if I lost it all?
My sanity, my brain, my heart?
I feel as if no one understands my madness.
Could you really deal with it?
What if I have nothing to offer?
What if I had nothing at all?
Would you still love me despite my flaws?

© 9/25/18 Jessa Raven Atkins